What Do I Need?

Have you ever felt antsy, bored, agitated, or distracted and not know why? Or, just felt blah?

It often happens when you are not truly tuned in to your thoughts and feelings. If you have ever found yourself standing in your pantry or your fridge like a zombie, when you are not hungry, or sitting on the couch with the remote in your hand mindlessly clicking through the channels, you were probably feeling one of those emotions. But you probably were not aware of what was really going on with you.

You probably just thought you wanted a snack or “something sweet.” Or you just thought you were looking for something good on TV. 

You were doing what we call buffering—using external things or activities to make us feel better or not feel at all—comfort food, wine, scrolling through social media mindlessly.

Instead of zoning out and using food or alcohol to avoid your feelings, stop and get quiet and ask yourself, “What do I need in this moment?” “What am I feeling?” Chances are that the snack is not really what you want. You want rest, or you want to relieve feelings of stress.  Or you have been going all day without a break, and you’ve hit a wall, and all you can do is “zone out.” Or, you need to connect with someone, perhaps yourself.

Stepping back and truly examining your thoughts and feelings will help you figure out what you really want or need; chances are good, it is not the snack or mindless TV. 

One last thing… it won’t happen overnight. If you have been buffering and pushing your feelings down for years, it will take some work to peel back the layers. But feeling your emotions and really experiencing your life – the good and the bad – is worth it. 

It’s living!